Ordination Paper
Phillip A. Brown

Submitted to:
Evangelical Association of Reformed and Congregational Christian Churches
October 31, 2006

Oh, what a wonderful God we have!  How great are His riches and wisdom and knowledge!

How impossible it is for us to understand His decisions and His methods!
For who can know what the Lord is thinking?  Who knows enough to be His counselor?

And who could ever give Him so much that He would have to pay it back?
For everything comes from Him; everything exists by His power and is intended for His glory.

To Him be glory evermore.  Amen.
– Romans 11:33-36

I was “supposed to” be a girl.

I’m not…I was supposed to be…but God had something different in mind.  According to the rhythm and pace of my heartbeat in my mother’s womb, the doctors all but assured my parents that they would be having a daughter.  Everything had been picked out and agreed upon.  My name was going to be Jennifer.  But on July 22, 1975, the doctors in Barberton, Ohio, were proven wrong when I was born with boy parts.

A few days later, my parents brought me, their first child, home to a household with a Christian mother, and a father who was not a believer.  As a toddler, I wondered out loud why my mom and I went to church while my dad stayed home.

In part because of my questions, but mostly through my mother’s faith, prayers and testimony, my father was saved early in my life.  As a result of his newfound faith and relationship with Jesus Christ, I saw the need for this in my own heart.  I was saved by faith in Jesus Christ in the garage of my childhood home, my father praying the sinner’s prayer with me.  At times I have struggled keeping my actions consistent with my faith, but I have always been convinced that my relationship with Christ, which began when I was a child, was real and effective for salvation from my sins.


I was “supposed to” be an engineer.

I’m “anal-retentive” by nature (a gift from my parents), and math has always come easily to me.  Growing up, it just seemed like that’s what I was cut out for so that’s the direction I headed.  But God had something different in mind…
In the summer of 1991, Rev. Bryan Feathers, my pastor, invited me to join him as a member of “The Isaiah 6” project, a short-term missions opportunity to Puerto Rico and the British Virgin Islands.  This was my first real experience of ministry and it was intoxicating for me.

While there, I felt God calling me to a vocation of ministry, and at that time, the only ministry I knew about was pastoral ministry in the Wesleyan Church – so when I got home, that’s what I began to pursue.

I attended Indiana Wesleyan University in Marion, Indiana, and while there, my ideas about ministry were blown wide open.  I caught a glimpse of the amazing variety of ministry outlets, and I began exploring and experiencing them.  I realized that being called to the ministry was a long, exciting journey, whose end was uncertain – the important part of it was following and being obedient.


I was “supposed to” be a camp director.

As a result of the opportunity to travel as a representative for IWU to Christian summer youth camps, I fell in love with the camping ministry.  As I neared graduation, I was convinced that God was calling me to pursue a career in the camping ministry, so I sent out letters and résumés to every Christian camp I could find an address for in Indiana, Michigan and Ohio, looking for a position.
I got zero responses.  I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, other than that I would not be ministering at a camp anytime soon…translation: God had something different in mind.

I took a job in the Admissions Office at IWU, and during my second year there, I could feel the Lord again telling me that I ought to be working in ministry, not in college admissions.  Honestly, I was totally freaked out.  I was called, I was trained, but I was terrified that I wasn’t good enough for ministry – my skills weren’t good enough, my past sins were too big to overcome, and a million other excuses came to mind – but during a conversation with my dad, I decided that I would begin praying for a ministry position and just follow where God took me – and put my fears aside.

That decision was huge, and it has changed my life and my relationship with God significantly.  Most notably, I’m not as afraid to take big chances anymore – in fact, I look for big chances that God and I can take together, because together, we’re an unbeatable team.


I was “supposed to live” in Ohio.

I was born and raised in Ohio.  My family lives there – parents, grandparents, brother, sister-in-law, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces and nephew (and one more of these whose gender is yet unknown).  My wife and children could enjoy the company of the people we love the most if we were there.  The best college football team in the nation plays its home games there!  But God had something different in mind.

I spent my first 7 years of ministry in the Akron, Ohio area.  It was a wonderful, challenging, growing, painful, exciting, depressing, invigorating time.  I learned a lot about what Christian ministry is and should be, and some about what it isn’t and shouldn’t be.  That sentence is probably worth some more thoughts…
 
The lessons from my first experience of ministry were almost all negative, and all in all, it was a sad nine months for me.  I was working with a man who was, in my opinion, simply treading water.  What I mean by that is that I feel like he had lost his passion for souls, his excitement for ministry and was just going through the motions and doing the job because that’s what he knew how to do.  I learned that probably not everyone who works as a minister (or is ordained as one) is really called to pastoral ministry – some would be of more benefit to the Kingdom of God as a construction worker who loves Jesus and works hard everyday.

Probably the biggest lesson I learned from that first church is that it’s quite difficult for a person to have a healthy, thriving spiritual ministry without personally having a healthy, thriving spiritual life.  I was a young man, in my first experience of vocational ministry, and I poured my time and my effort and my energy into it – so much so that I began neglecting the disciplines of my own spiritual life.  After a few months, I found that I was dreading the time I spent in ministry – I began to resent the people I was serving because I felt (unconsciously at first, I think) that they were letting me sacrifice myself and my spiritual health for their benefit.  I believe I have a better balance now, and I’m thankful I learned that lesson so early in my ministry.

I also learned that my main responsibility as a pastor was to find ways to point people to Jesus.  I learned that some people will listen and find Him (and that’s a wonderful experience), but many won’t listen and don’t find Him (and that’s terribly sad).  I learned that my obedience and faithfulness to the task of pointing was what was most important to God, not the results (which many times feel more important to me).

I learned that pointing people to Jesus means getting involved in their lives.  It’s a cliché, but “people don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”  I found that by just hanging out and having fun with people, you might be able to convey more about the love of Jesus than you could with a hundred sermons – and they’ll remember what you share better!

Looking back, I wouldn’t trade those experiences, especially the difficult ones, because I can see how God was molding me, forming me, creating impressions on my life that have changed me – and given me the chance to be a better pastor, a better husband and father, a better friend and a better man.
 So here’s where I’m at right now…I’m OK with my life turning out differently than it was “supposed to” – whatever that means.  I’m going to spend the rest of my life – every moment pursuing His plan.  Knowing Jesus and loving Him and experiencing life with Him is enough.

I have, by faith, accepted that the Bible is God’s Word, breathed by Him (2 Timothy 3:16), and written by His faithful instruments.  It is the authoritative book on how to relate to our heavenly Father and live a life that is pleasing to Him.  I believe that God Himself has brought His word safely through the centuries since it was written, and that it perfectly describes who He is.  If we want to know God’s character, we must be diligent, committed readers of the Bible (2 Timothy 2:15).

I believe that the triune Godhead consists of God (the Father), Jesus (the Son), and the Holy Spirit.  By definition, all three have the same nature and power, though it manifests itself in each differently.  Each person of the Trinity is, at the same time, a part of the others, and an individual.

The first person of the trinity is God (the Father).  He is the epitome of all that is good and right and holy and just.  God exists beyond the plane of our understanding – He is not bound by time (He is eternal), space (He is omnipresent) or natural laws (He is omnipotent).  He has all knowledge (He is omniscient).  He is not even bound by gender – although He is referred to as Father (which conjures a male thought in our mind), the truth is that His existence surpasses all “maleness” or “femaleness.”  In short, He is perfect in every way.

The second person of the trinity is Jesus (the Son).  He is the Creator (John 1:1-2), the sustainer (Colossians 1:17), and the Savior.  I believe that Jesus was born to Mary, a virgin, fulfilling a prophecy of the Messiah (Isaiah 7:14).  Being the only man ever born of a virgin is just one of many things that prove He is the Messiah.  I believe that Jesus, the Christ was fully God and fully human in every way, and that He lived the only perfect, unstained, sinless life, which makes Him the only one who could achieve atonement for the sins of humanity.  He purchased our forgiveness and freedom by his death on the cross and then defeated the power of the grave by His resurrection (1 Corinthians 15:57).
The third person of the trinity is the Holy Spirit.  The Holy Spirit has been active in the lives of God’s people throughout history – He is the manifestation of the presence of God in the life of the believer in Jesus Christ.  The Spirit was given as a seal, marking us as God’s child and guaranteeing our future with Him in heaven (Ephesians 1:13-14) on the day of Pentecost (Acts 2), and it is He who empowers us to live a life pleasing to God.

I believe that all humans have sinned (Romans 3:23), and have inherited the sinful nature that became part of the human race when Adam sinned (1 Corinthians 15:21-22).  The sinfulness of man is so grave that there is nothing that men can do on their own to save themselves (Ephesians 2:8-9).  They must trust Jesus.  Because Jesus lived a sinless life, His death on the cross is sufficient to settle the accounts of all who have sinned.  When His sacrifice is accepted, it pays the debt the sinner cannot pay.

I believe that salvation is found in Jesus alone (Acts 4:12), and it is the responsibility of every person, individually, to choose Jesus or reject Him.  Each person has the freedom to make this decision for themselves, and must face the consequences that result from their choice.

I believe that we are “born again,” that is we become new creations (2 Corinthians 5:17) when, by faith, we profess Jesus Christ as our Savior, and accept His perfect sacrifice for our sins.  With the understanding that He died for us, we choose to live for Him (2 Corinthians 5:14-15).

I believe that once we are born again, the Holy Spirit begins to mold and shape us to the image of Jesus (Romans 8:29).  The Holy Spirit lives in the repentant sinner and empowers us to do service for the Kingdom of God.  He gives every believer the responsibility (and the ability or abilities) necessary to minister in some meaningful way to the body of Christ and the world.  As that process begins, we can see ourselves becoming more and more like Jesus in our words, thoughts, and actions, so that one day, we look more like Him than ourselves.
I believe that the historic Christian Church is made up of those who have been born again – those who have become God’s children, born of His will through faith and belief in the name of Jesus Christ (1 John 1:12-13).  As the body of Christ, all members of the Church have an important part in the life of the Church (Romans 12:4-8), and are accountable to each other (Matthew 18:15-18).

The mission of the Church is to be disciples and make disciples of Jesus (Matthew 28:19-20).  Sadly, many times over the centuries, the Church has lost sight of this mission and the result of these lapses of mission is the many fragments (denominations) of the family of God that we now experience.

I believe that the bodily resurrection of Jesus Christ from the grave is the cornerstone of the gospel.  Without it our faith is useless, because the hope of a relationship with God and eternal life rests in the fact that Christ died and was raised, so that we can one day be raised to live with Him (1 Corinthians 15:12-18).

I believe that Jesus will one day return to bring His faithful ones home to the place He is preparing for them (John 14:1-3).  No man knows the time or date of His return (Acts 1:7), so we must be prepared for His return at any moment, so we won’t be left behind (Matthew 25:1-13).

A lot of time, effort, study and brain cells have been spent trying to figure out biblically how this will take place, and in what order things will happen in the end times.  Personally, I like the mystery of not knowing, and I’m not particularly committed to one viewpoint over another.  If I had to choose, though, I suppose I would land in the pre-tribulation, pre-millenial rapture camp – and I only say that because it gets me to Jesus quicker, with less trouble.
 
So…that’s me in a nutshell!  Writing this paper has been an interesting and insightful experience…I’m pleased to say that I think I’ve grown in my understanding of myself, Jesus, ministry, the church, and spirituality over the past 8 years.  I wonder what I’ll think of this paper 5 or 10 years from now…interesting…maybe God has something different in mind.